diary of stine tranekjær
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sun day: sep 5th 2010
moving up njalsgade 19D
6th floor atelier. mine as a loan for the next 3 months.
good place.
BIG SMILE !
:-:--)
s
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friday: aug 27th 2010
i need a temporary place to work untill i leave for athens by december
what i would like most will be an atelier just around the corner flooded with daylight.
if you know anyone in, or around islandsbrygge, who will sublet me a place such as, for the next 3 months, please let me know as fast as you can.
yes
s
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tuesday: aug 17th 2010
since the last days of last year, anne werner and i have been out of touch
none of us chose this. it came to us this way, we were both to weak to hold on when it started to hurt.
i think both of us live with a lot of doubt. doubt in our self. doubt in the surrounding world.
i dont have much to write
this is just a note
just a note about something that should not be in a note, because its far to big to be put in a small place.
this last year was not happy spend. the last 8 months has been lived as without a part of myself. a life without reflection.
i hope that i find anne again. she is important.
i hope that anne finds me
anne - london early spring 2009
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tuesday: july 27th 2010
this is what i see in dreams:
us inside our nature
this nature is love. it is obvious.
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tuesday: july 27th 2010
this is in danish.
it is almost a poem
i wrote it a month ago:
.
jeg er ikke sådan en fugl som du har tegnet
det kan jeg se nu
det er meget klart
at jeg slet ikke forstod, at det kunne være mig på den tegning
og selvom du selv synes, det er ret så tydeligt gjort
men
sådan ser jeg altså ikke ud
hvis du havde kigget lidt længere på mig
skulle du have set at jeg er violet og ikke gul
og jeg har slet ikke fjer
i hvertfald ikke indeni
.
hvis jeg havde de fjer indeni
kunne jeg sikkert sagtens forstå, at det var mig på den tegning
og så var jeg garranteret osse gul
uden tvivl
så var jeg nok aldrig nogensinde fløjet over i det her træ
og du, havde måske slet ikke tegnet mig til at begynde med
.
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thursday: july 22th 2010
first i got happy
then i got sad
now i have a moskito bite under each foot
the crickets sing the strange song of summer.
i wish i could sing along
i am a little lost
s
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friday: july 14th 2010
mixtapes/ playlists
:-:--)
these days i feel privileged on this subject
this one is put together by the oracle maxime guitton:
click on the blue word "ici" in the middle of the french text and you get the playlist to put into your itunes.
biggest hug
s
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tuesday: july 13th 2010
this does not make 100% sense
as usual
but it is better than no sense:
first part of this song makes sense about the way i feel
its a help
and then i got to think of this:
because i listened many times to the jens lekman remix i found yesterday.
it is a song by los lobos about being drunk
jens lekman gave it new words. he is singing out of my computer
it is december 8th. 2008
- if you would ever forget this day/ this day would stop existing in a way.
this makes sense
alot
my mum once said to me, that there is a great difference in the way we percept:
how strong our feelings hit the brain in a given situation.
put in the same exposure of circumstances
some people feel a lot
some people dont feel the same
some times we just end with different feelings
because we process differently
this makes sense too
.
i need to sleep now
last night i saw in a dream that i got a letter
the only word in the letter was:
ja
but i dont have a letter such as.
i wish i had
s
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monday: july 12th 2010
30 degrees celcius
these days i feel the waves of the sea even when im on land
just returned back in the appartement, back from 5 hours on the wooden bridge on the waterfront: the swim with nan na
now home, i found this fantastic remix/mixtape in all time favorite jens lekmans homepage:
want to listen one more time, and then bike out to patrick in frederiksberg and make barbeque by the pool
the banana palm has grown 4 leaves in 4 days
soon it grows into the sky
s
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saturday: july 10th 2010
for the first time i had a locksmith open my door yesterday.
we were swimming all day from the low wooden bridge by the waterfront. nan na, ulla, ry, lina josefina and i and the sun. it was the warmest day in years.
when home i did not have my keys.
julie who lives with me is in jutland now.
only locksmith
peeehw
but ok.
yesterday was one of these days that go plus to minus, back to plus again. sadly it ended below zero. but i guess it was faith of the day:
stalled by my forgetfullness lina josefina and i drove as far as we could, out in frederiksberg. biking through the late evening. the destination was to find the house where patrick bentley grew up. the house has a pool and tonight was the “pool party”
i felt so 17 years old again. to be seated in this heavy parental prehistorical setting, drinking sweet vodka sodas overviewing the cutest light blue pool of copenhagen. – knowing that “the parents” was on holiday. knowing that patrick did this setup for us. it all made me ponder in to dreams of teenage times.
i found morten lundholm on the terrace, making deserts. one hour later, lina and i found us selfs floating around in the pool with morten in the middle of the night.
as the party thinned out morten and i continued to dance madly to the cure, barefoot in our swimsuits on the terrace.
i dont need to write that later when lina josefina and i drove towards “bakken” in kødbyen, i had been drinking to much to be riding a bike.
02 am in the night weather was still warm. this is not normal in copenhagen. the bikeride from the outskirts of frederiksberg to the innercity was so still. we drove slow on our small bikes not to sweat and to maintain talk. no cars in this hour in frederiksberg. we talked about the distinct smell of taxi in the street gammel kongevej.
the outskirts of frederigsberg smell of leaf mould and hedges
we arrived in bakken to late for the dj set of anders “ormen” christoffersen, but we found him and the rest of our friends in the most far away corner of the courtyard. we talked about the strange wodoo in africa and albino bones for the rest of the night.
just before closing hour i spotted lasse ejersted in the morning crowd. my friendship with lasse dates back to the year i moved to copenhagen and lasse is the closest relation i have next to the brother i dont have.
maybe we have been to hard with each other. maybe we have been to loose.
late last night we took it as far as we could, and ended up in a ridiculously painful fight.
telling each other that friendship was over
some of the things lasse said to me ring in my head like the sound of small bells.
chiming as a strange form of tinnitus. i hope i did not say these kind of words to him.
maybe i did
reception is to the ear of the beholder
language is as harmful as any weapon if put badly or loose between friends.
its a give and take of precautions. but then there is a fine line between honesty, intentions and precautions i guess.
i hope we find a way again
.
today is as sunny and warm as yesterday.
today you can find me down by the bridge or in the water for a couple of hours on from now
today is dinner at sara anderssons place in frederiksberg
today is lots of reasons for happy
i wish i could
s
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monday: july 5th 2010
when i woke on the 4th, even the floor in front of my bed seemed out of reach of my feet
after some hours of this “impossible dreams / possible ideas” doubt my mother called me.
.
most rational areas in my brains, are grown there because of her.
through the telephone i explained to her, why i was not on my legs
we did not talk long
in the end of the conversation she hung up on me (because she got sad because she could hear that i was sad)
then i got even more sad
then she felt regret and called me back
she is clever
and she knows me
then we both felt better
this was good
after talking for an hour i began to believe that the day could be spend out
i took the train to roskilde festival, in time to get to hear both pavement and prince play their shows.
just before pavemet went on stage i got the sweetest sms from my mother:
“far siger: han finder dig, nyd – vi er der. os”
-we all want to be found
yes. i guess i know something about this now
my parents found each other in roskilde festival in 73. they were both 17 years old.
.
i found you. that is the thing i know
and lost you.
because i did not se no option to follow
i wonder what your father said?
"hun finder dig"
and did you lose
or was i left
ten times before
maybe less. maybe more
.
but later when prince sang “nothing compares to you”, my legs sat me down again.
then
my legs are ok again now today
they send their regards
not dancing though
s
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saturday: july 3rd 2010
ERLEEEEEEND
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wensday: june 30th 2010
today there was none of the stuff on the list below
no sunshine either
but i found this list going through my 2009 files and books.
today was the day of ANUAL TAX STATEMENT
the most boring day of the year
now i finished the accounting
i should go out
sunshiner
s
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tuesday: june 29th 2010
got a new simcard today = back on telf: + 45 2972 9521
:-:--)
x
s
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sunday: june 27th 2010
tonight somebody stole my phone and my purse
.
it has not happend before. i have to find out how it feels.
.
i dont like it. i liked that purse a lot. it was bordaux patchwork and stuffed with leafs
and the simcard was 10 years old and as stufffed with phonenumbers.
sucks
that is the only word on my mind as i fall asleep this morning.
if you want: call me on +45 2972 2861 for the next days untill i get a new simcard
and please send me a mail with your phonenumber
thanks
s
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wensday: june 23th 2010
tonight it was "sankt hans" evening
- maybe midsummer is more easy to understand. sankt hans is sort of the same. danish version.
my dad and i found this field around 10.00pm:
the white stuff is "mosekonebryg"
in reality there was more. "mosekonebryg" do not capture well inside the camera
all of my life i have wondered about sankt hans and mosekonebryg alot.
perfect combination tonight
sovs godt
s
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sunday: june 20th 2010
back in bed
:-:--)
i spend most daylight hours in bed today. tired eyes are from yesterdays lina-bjørn-birthday-celebration.
i had a balloon sculpture for lina and our friends lisbeth and the swedish lina josefina came by and made late night drinks and homemade danish traditional "lagkage"
we sat and talked till sun up, and last subject between lina and i was, the wanting to blackface ourselves with some old brown pancake, found in my makeup drawers.
lina wanted to be like bill cosby, but then we cancelled because of total tiredness around 05.00 am. and fell asleep inside my bed instead.
i know we will do this bill cosby later.
now outside it is rain and i dont feel as if im missing much/ wasting time here.
my bed is a good bed.
waiting for the rain to clear
before the weekend i found a ticket to the roskildefestival in the mailbox. (a thoughtful friend with ticket abilities send it here) thats nice, this ticket was what i really wanted, - and the festival is sold out by now.
however, i dont think i will go camping unless forced. better train or hitchhike back and forth or just not sleep.
by the way, it would be nice if someone could get a bike-pass for me; then i could take my bike into the festival grounds. well. guess im dreaming now.
more :-:--)
s
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saturday: june 19th 2010
i had to go home early tonight due to some headache.
maria jørgensen gave her “magisterkonferens forelæsning” today. it is obvious that i would have loved to party after. but i couldent.
then instead i spend the night alone with lina bjørn who is home in copenhagen from NYC.
lina came by and i took some medicine and the headache went sort of away, but still tired.
we drank some vodka. with midnight it went june the 19th = linas 29th birthday.
i sang the danish birthday song. and put lina on her bike home with a bouquet of yellow flowers for her birthday breakfast with her parents.
now i went back to bed. my apartment has been cold since the caretaker closed the heating for the summer. summer is inconsistent. and deff. not inside apartment yet.
im writing this/ answering mails/ youtube.
watching the daylight hello.
mails are more than normal due to some attention in print and youtube is a favourite as usual. sleep is nowhere found.
anne linnets songs are early childhood memories.
some of her songs are the saddest songs i know:
lyrics by tove ditlevsen
soon
sun
up
s
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sunday: june 13th 2010
i dont know where to begin this.
SYNAESTHESIA
that is it:
.
some days ago i had a conversation with maria jørgensen.
we talked about an old boyfriend of hers and as a sort of automate conclusion to the talk, i stated that the boy was beige. maria, holding the reigns of sanity, of course asked me, what was meant to be understood by that?, - and i told her my beliefs: that the guy was, just simply straight forward beige.
saying the word, it became clear to me that it was not as obvious to maria, that her ex boyfriend was beige. – you se to me, he was as beige as possibly possible.
then i knew, that i had found a new collection of personal synaesthesia.
in 30 seconds i had it:
i told maria what i knew: that she is red. my mother is orange. my father is cobalt blue. lasse is light blue. anna is yellow... i cant remember exactly how many i told her.
anyway: johanne is warm brown. lina is yellow. blaise is black.
i think it takes some time to develop these. some of them are really rational and easy to decode, others are more strange.
when some are easy to decode, it is because the colour conotates a specific thing. a thing that the person is or was associated with in my mind, - and often this specific thing, of a specific colour makes a specific connection between the person and i.
- my father used to own a cobalt blue bike through my childhood on witch i biked with him, sitting in front of him in a white children’s seat.
- i always knew that my mothers favorite colour was orange, she was married to my father in an orange two piece on june the 5th 1982 (my father was wearing a white suit). it was my one year birthday and i had my name given the same day.
i have seen the picture of us at least a 1000 times. everyone is smiling. it is the hottest day in years.
-when maria and i met, we lived far from copenhagen and would take the trains there and back every day. the trains were red and I remember standing at the empty station late at night, waving my hands at her from the platform. when she would go further north, my eyes seeing her getting carried away in her red vessel.
the name maria also carries the vowel A as a prominent double sound, -and that sound is red :D
-lasse has a light blue purse that he has kept for years, he keeps it in hes pocket and i see it each time we go out and buy drinks. when we met 10 years ago he used to be in a light blue winter jacket all year. i would give the world to see that jacket again.
well
to some of them there might be a bit more. i dont want to digg to deep.
but
if anybody would be interested in getting to know my personal colour synaesthesia, for their person - just ask.
my own colour is strangely hard to tell.
.
now if you feel interested in this subject, - try and ask yourself what colour tuesday is?
does it have one?
if it does, then it is likely that the rest of the days in the week also does. maybe the months to?
numbers?
letters?
words/things?
ive had most of it since i was a child. – not numbers though.
i guess this is why i have this happiness working with colours.
i use them as links.
so:
today i randomly found this: (in dainsh)
www.politiken.dk/videnskab/article993974.ece
and googled my way to this: (in english)
www.liveleak.com/view?i=127_1252755984
this makes so big timer sense.
:-:--)
my year is round to. slightly tilted to the left: christmas is on top. my birthday is at the bottom. there is a compression on the winter months, as the summer months are of course longer.
yes
if anyone wants to talk about this, just call me +45 2972 9521. im up for a chat anytime.
most interesting.
synaesthesia wiki:
www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia
regards to a person who is green
stine
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sun day: june 6th 2010
yesterday
3rd day distortion / 2,9th decade since i was born.
fantastic sunny day.
i prefer to think it was on me.
went up to louisiana museum with parents to have lunch. sat on the terrace and ate something that someone had pulled out of the ocean.
fantastic.
met with friends under knippelsbro and saw it open.
stayed up late and felt clever with sara andersson;
- walked in backwards through the exit to the distortion finalparty.
today
4th day in distortion
spend in sun/ on grass lawn with sweet people. among them my friends johanne thoudahl and yvan rodic.
we did absolutely nothing of significant importance
except for trying out my new juicer and chat about the possibilities of a pizza customized with your own portrait/ the difficulties of vanity.
tomorrow
i will sleep or stay in bed
from here
i embrace you
s
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saturday: may 29th 2010
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wensday: may 26th 2010
a complementary contrast sunset HKI-PARIS may 18th 2010 around antwerpen:
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saturday: may 22th 2010
7 days out of constant sun.
im happy
i will move and spend the summer here. in the sun
the nights
are still a moon though
x
s
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thursday: may 13th 2010
3 days ago at anna schjerlunds house the thought came back to me:
- could the internet be a tower of babel.
for personal as for general matters with all that this implies.
and it is not about god no god. i am not sensitive to that story much.
.
same evening i talked with lina bjørn on the internet. she told me she liked the profile picture i put on facebook. she asked me why, and then said:
“er der ikke nogen andre omkring som er lige så interessante. som gerne ville snakke rigtigt?”
couldnt there be someone else around, just as interesting. who wants to talk for real?
- i dont know.
sleep tight
my most lost imaginary friend
wake on your island
s
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monday: may 10th 2010
:-:--)
juhuuuuu !!!!
first day not ill since i dont know when.
no fever
no snot
spend all day outside walking and biking with anna schjerlund
will sleep now and dream of you
x
s
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friday: may 7th 2010
yesterday: brad downey rang my doorbell. as he was in copenhagen for an exhibition in roskilde he managed to stop by.
happy time to have “coffee-no-milk” together. havent seen brad for ages.
and as reunion he hustled me for 5€ in coins, a telephone call and a key chain.
...
i still like him though. amazing. he is nice. ("is" should be underlined)
in return he told me to take the clothes of my homepage.
word: brad downey is both smart and clever.
done.
today: the fever is finally fading. mum and dad came in for a short visit. but since they left i have been in my bed. inside and not on.
this fever is leaving me with no strength left.
3 small banana palms went home to paradisbakken 6 -holte, with my parents. i think they caught the fever (the plants).
tomorrow: because i believe in colours, i was supposed to guide a how-do-we-build-our-own-music-instruments-and paint-them-fantasticly-nice? -workshop with my friends from the gallery-shop “this ISSUE” in blågårdsgade nørrebro.
but obviously im not in the mood for guiding anything anywhere. not even colours.
but i hope we can postpone the workshop, as the few percent of me that is not ill, has really been looking forward to the idea of guiding that fantasticly-nice question.
i need to eat something
and get well
s
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tuesday: may 4th 2010
five days now, maybe six, inside with fever. outside seems fine and sun and spring. maybe i would go out. why dont this fever disapear.
i went out last night, and one night on the weekend. now i am sent back in my bed, to stay some days more i guess.
sigh.
tired
s
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sunday: may 2nd 2010
LOOK: i am now officially described as a drug by a soon-to-be "magister in literature"
happy day
this is a break through!
:
- tomorrow maria jørgensen will hand in her final master thesis:
PERVERSION, FANTASME, BEGÆR
lacanianske interventioner imellem ret og litteretur
most brave and fantastic title ever. i wonder big time what is inside.
i know it is good.
:-:--)
so
biggest HURRA HURRA HURRA to maria jørgensen!! and lots of happyhappy-S.B.T. though sbt still struggle with silly fever
(dont know what this fever is about. sunshine outside)
HUGS
krams krams krams
s
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saturday: may 1st 2010
:-:--) wanna drive down to fælledparken to se some people eat some candyfloss
x
s
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wensday: april 28th 2010
this is the silly department:
today i had a strange and sudden fever. i spend my day in bed with the internet.
so many new things always:
apart from a sweet interview, the best thing found was
this:
you see?
a treehouse out of mirrored glass
:-:--)
- tham & videgard hansson arkitekter SE.
im so impressed and i wish i could live in there
different, but same same:
im currently working on an exhibition project with new york based artists lina bjørn and kristjan zaklynsky titled "our newport home"
it is a slow project due to the distance, but we got time.
this mirror-tree-house will have to fit in to our home in some form. at least as an inspiration.
gonna send it to lina and kristjan now
sleep tight
and please wish me a no-fever day tomorrow
s
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monday: april 26th 2010
i got mail from the danish institute at athens today
- my arms are sort of stuck in an impractical cramp over my head now:
december 2010 and january 2011 i will be in athens.
as a guest in residency with the institute
:-:--)
s
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sunday: april 25th 2010
the banana plants are still alive.
but i have been half dead and hung over today. headache.
i wanted to stay in bed. but johanne thoudahls birthday soirre pulled me out.
on my way home from nørrebro 7.30pm i dident remove my sunglasses in the metro
i met an old man, white hair and beard, - who was also in sunglasses. even blacker than mine. we dident talk. we just sat next eachother sunglassed underground for 3 stops.
when he got up to get of he said: "tak for lån. - og god næste-weekend"
i guess he had some good eyes after all
"thanks for the loan. - and a good next-weekend"
well put comment. though seemingly random.
.
december 2009
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friday: april 23th 2010
today. - on right and wrong.
i talked with andy burr on skype. or rather wrote.
during the last 4 years i have been writhing and talking with andy on the internet,
-sending all sorts of stuff back and forth. whenever in doubt about something, i know that i can always ask andy - although andy lives in austin texas and we have never met. maybe never will.
how fantastic the internet can be.
apart from doing some fantastic graphic stuff (how we met back in 2006 on myspace :-) andy also has this music thing going, and send me a song from his new album today. title of the song is:
“your way with my life”
– i like the song, and basicly i think it is about being under the influence of others/ someone else.
it made me think about, that i wanted to post this text i recently wrote, about the first colour experiment:
not because the colour experiment is about the same stuff, more a lead to the subject.
----
THE COLOUR EXPERIMENTS
The Colour Experiments are works based on experimental suggestions on colour and light.
I use the colours to facilitate my works, because I believe that people are sensitive to the colour perception, made through the eye.
In the Colour Experiments I examine the systems and code of light and colour. The aim of the examination is to obtain new views on the color systems, in order to translate them into vessels for my works.
.
The first Colour Experiment
link: here
Using the referance of the complementary contrast, from the Johannes Itten teachings on colour, The first Colour Experiment states the question:
"Can wrong become right, if alternated and repeated to an adequate extend?"
The first Colour Experiment is 7 silkscreen prints:
By bending and tweaking the lightness and colour, of the contrasts in “wrong” directions, The Colour Experiment searches to explore the space between right and wrong:
Possibly the full image of the 7 prints may consolidate a sense of “the complementary contrast”
- but none of the 7 contrasts alone, resembles a valid complementary contrast on its own.
As an example the red/green center contrast of the experiment, is burdened from vast amounts of yellow, on both the red and the green. One of the two colours should have tilted in another direction, to fullfill the idea of complementary contrast.
----
well
enough about colours
yellow regards
s
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thursday: april 22th 2010
today: 3 new banana palm plants. the bigger one made them
dont ask me how
:-:--)
it is obvious, - they are waving their arms at you.
(me to but you cant see)
s
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sunday: april 18th 2010
night yesterday, and efterklangs concert in vega. later i met lasse ejersted in enghavevej.
we had a plan to go and have the last drink
lasse mumbled to my ear, that it looked as had i seen a ghost
gone
possibly possible
.
i didnt see no ghost
but it is not
an easy road. travel.
how i wish i had been simple
.
we tried to make me better with some kebab in istedgade
then took the dive in to ritz to forget
i came up much faster than a cork under water
then home on my bike. wind in my back over the bridge
sad
s
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thursday: april 15th 2010
the dream happens in a big room:
so much air, and room and the walls and the ceiling, are all far away.
some of the things that should have been controlled by gravity are not:
some things sits bottom up, high in the ceiling.
white is the base colour
but also many different bright colours on shapes. most orange and red.
some big plants with big leafs. green.
in the middle a woman. alone on a cold island.
she is the secretary
she is typewriting
she is important.
klak ti-klak ti-klak
the echo of the room
the sound of the typewriter
soft ashtrays, as big as swimming pools, glued to the reversed ceiling. empty.
a strange, and in some way wrong clock, is high up one wall
.
everything is in fact wrong
.
there is a drone of violins. i guess it was violins. or something that sound. light but high pitched.
the room is filled with an unbearable tension.
i am afraid. a lot.
.
i saw this strange nightmare in dreams over and over when i was a child. so many times.
nothing much happens. it is very still.
but every time it was a terrible feeling.
i never understood what it was about.
.
now
last night, i couldent sleep. there was a strange smell coming through my open window of something burnt, and i couldent hear fire trucks. it made me anxious.
i think i had strange nightmares most of the night.
i dont remember about what
but when waking up, i was afraid. afraid out of my mind. and it took me back to the feeling i had from the dream above. years ago.
next i knew
i knew what room the dream was about
this is the strangest thing. to finally know.
about 20 years late. the mind works in mysterious ways.
here it is:
it is the reception of herlev hospital, decorated by poul gernes.
the pictures are burrowed from here:
here: www.gernes.dk
.
some very awake hugs
tired arms
stine
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sunday: april 11th 2010
dear joanna newsom
its very easy
easy
if i could pick a sister i would pick you.
because your poetry make me think, that you would know what the loneliness is like.
and
then maybe we would sit small together.
not alone no more
under the night beneath a wooden table, covered by woolen blankets and yellow quilts and talk about the strange love in our hearts
night after night after night again. falling asleep never
i embrace you
with the longest arms.
into your songs
stine
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saturday: april 10th 2010
i think easter must be my favorite time of the year:
its yellow
its silly
and its spring time all over outside !
and its hopelessly over now. but i will keep my easter diet untill i choke in the marinated herring filets
:-:--) - i LIKE
(the above is: herring marinated red, potatoes and onions on dark rye bread. egg and apple. coffe)
belated easter-egg-hugs
s
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friday: april 9th 2010
RIP Malcolm McLaren
best designer band EVA :D
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thursday: april 8th 2010
post from the favorite french / le jeune graffeur blaise parmentier:
.........
today these two beauties were in the mail.
and a smile were in my face from ear to ear because im in paris visiting blaise, his girlfriend and his brother and the rest of the favorite french next month :D
wiii wi wiw iwiwiwiwiiiiiiiiiii !
its just a short trip. but a good one; especially because it starts in HKI in the house of the favorite finnish person inka jarvinen :-:--)
like this:
HKI
friday may 14th
tuesday may 18th
PARIS
tuesday may 18th
monday may 24th
if you want to say hello, make food for me, take me out dancing or have secret plans on one of these days that include me. then hurry up and write me!
im all yours
s
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tuesday: april 6th 2010
today i travelled, by elevator to the 14th floor, of the cph central hospital to see rasmus riemann.
hes in bed since 14 days and nights, from a heart surgery. now hes heart has the biggest scar ever seen. in the beginning he was all yellow, now he is just pale peach.
we spend the afternoon and evening together; looking out for helicopters landing the hospital roof, and trying to identify buildings in the far horizon, by using google maps.
from his window we could se the curb of the earth
im happy rasmus woke up. im happy that the doctor fixed his heart back to a danceable rhythm.
its not easy to be ill.
its not easy to be cured either.
still i wish someone could make the migraines stay out of my head for good though.
uncontrollable dreams
s
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friday: april 2nd 2010
:-:--)
im sure that i like this girl
such a lot
listen:
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wensday: march 31th 2010
happy happiest birthday favorite-french-person! - most impossible language specially for you:
.
s'il vous arrive d'être à brest demain le premier avril, je vous recommande de visiter mon ami le jeune graffeur blaise parmentier
je sais que c'est son anniversaire; le jeune homme a 27 ans demain
:-:--)
et il a aussi vernissage, sur sa première exposition solo!
plus beau sourire dans un temps long
happy
happy
je voudrais être à brest demain !!!
si vous êtes;
il est nécessaire que vous lui donner un grand câlin de moi!
xxx
s
ps.
donne aussi fredd un câlin de moi, - je n'oublierai jamais des fleurs jaunes :D
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monday: march 22th 2010
BIGGEST smile in many days!
/
U.S.A.
/
THE DOCTOR WILL SEE YOU NOW!!!!!
/
congratulations lots lots lots. and thank u god.
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sunday: march 21th 2010
god help the americas
south and north
tonight concerns are about the northern part.
.
the health care thing..
.
the day before yesterday tobias valentin was so kind to feed me an interesting fact; the majority of north americans actually do believe that “god” finds america and the americans sort of special / chosen.
... i guess we could have guessed. but i never would though.
given the way the obama-health-care-thing is going down these hours, it is not easy to follow this conviction.
but if so, - if it really is the case that god is on their side .... then in my thoughts today was, that this “god” ought to care a bit more for his chosen people then. guide them through our world, in which they constantly do wrong, in lacking judgement and fumble with fear based decisions.
jesus.
hope
despair
.
well
apart from being concerned about the healthcare plans for the 300 million americans, i mostly care about money and food these days.
and the coming of spring :-:--)
all of it in an extremely egocentric way;
the coming of spring is what i want.
.
now it is evening. light is almost gone, and i am in holte.
i sit in the kitchen of the house in which i grew up.
my mother has given me a plate of “fregnes svampe suppe”
this translates to mushroom soup of freckles.
fregne levy was lucky to have this soup named after him. its the best.
its a simple soup of wild mushrooms swimming in some white wine reduced, the mushrooms and onions sautéd in butter. cream a lot. salt and pepper. maybe garlic. parsley on top :-:--)
ealyer today
i looked through a pile of old pictures. telling me things.
i wish my family had been faster.
i wish all the stories i grew up by/with had not already been dead when they were told to me.
i remember stories, names and faces of so many people i never met.
sleep tight
kisses
stine
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saturday: march 13th 2010
there seem to be a song for everything
i dont want to sing
but this some how is the best one to date.
the meaning of this is;
goodbye
s
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tuesday: march 9th 2010
im getting better
but lately i have been so full of fever and snot, that i want to forget forever how full of fever and snot i have been lately.
impossible substance vs. possible demands
.
every spring season.
or more exactly one month before;
i get a cold because of pure judgement regarding springtime.
spring fever
scheduled feb/march
target = stine
it is not my fault
it is in my dreams. the light that make me take of my clothes
to early
brain = snot
snot-for-brains managed to be online almost 3 days in a row, replanted all the plants that came in december (they are avocado, orange and clementine), shined the kitchen window and cleaned out a bit in the iphoto application.
i found this video in iphoto. it dates june 12th 2009. i had forgotten.
it is jutland
but
it reminds me of berlin;
i couldent tell what kind of bird you were either
and the rain started as soon as we parted
i was almost swimming home
now i hear my self say ; - alle træerne de drukner.
"all the trees, they drown"
in a strange way i wish they would
but i am not good with naming birds by their song
as a fact i feel half deaf. sometimes.
i am sorry
snot-sob
x
s
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wensday: march 3rd 2010
i get the news i need on the weather report
i can gather all the news i need on the weather report
now we all want to be googled.
we all want to be found
so
yesterday i googleliced someone who asked me to google him a long time ago.
i read the words i could find about him on the interweb.
a little late
but
now i know everything available;
like names and places.
and what happend then.
i even know that he might once have loved someone. who loved him.
.
there are questions that can not be answered by google
he will find them.
x
s
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friday: february 26th 2010
into the wilderness
its not to make much sense of this;
if you know not what it is about
all there is to it, for every one to understand is:
- tonight i was sad;
i heard 10 stories that i avoided
.
oh dear
.
the stories came into my room, out of my speakers, and made me eat all possible cakefound from my kitchen.
unfortunately there were just crumbs left in the jars.
the stories were the finest i have heard in weeks, yet i felt it easy to throw them.
fast
inside them i found the most fragile pictures
on the pictures was something that i lost, and that made me ever so sad in reverse
.
all in life is tied up with repression.
less or more
but to keep these stories would be dumb. my flat would be a clear waveless sea by morning time and i would wake 3 years older. still water again. floated and trapped on my bed.
the stories travelled from stockholm.
for nearly 3 and a half year i have repressed the existence of stockholm together with all fact related knowledge related to and around that city. graduately guessing the stories from the mouths of friends.
.
now
i know the stories
are not stories
and i know i need to see stockholm soon.
and my old friends there.
what a fool i have been
not to trust my intuition fully from the start.
but
i strongly deny to learn anything from this
i swear to remain a fool
i promise never to read between lines unless there is really something added in for the eye to see
"the same things that would trouble a grown up, will never disturb a child."
and i will never become allergic either
:-:--)
my hopes and dreams
better nights
love
stine
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funday: february 21th 2010
"A Quick One While He's Away" on blaises blog
here: bcommeblog.tumblr.com/
scroll halfway down the first page. its in a soundfile. no title.
when done with the who, going back up to the top to listen to the pigeon song by tom lehrer and the old casals recording again.
i want to listen three more times
then i will go and take a long walk on amagerfælled
in my layer of two coats
all is white now
i wish i had compagny
i wish someone had the same idea and called me and asked if we could walk together.
so:
im walking out in 30 minuts from 1.30pm :-:--) if inspired.
see you there (im wearing two blue coats and a yellow hat!)
frozen huggs
-s
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friday: february 19th 2010
easy on the eyes
my mom says that i am now huckleberry finn for real.
so strange to finally be a boy :-:--)
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sunday: february 2nd 2010
cherche des nouvelles/taking news/leder efter nyhedder
the french way of "taking news" always made me wonder.
taking news is not a correct translation.
but it was the way my friend Blaise used to call me sometimes and put it in english;
"im calling you to take news from you"
and i always used to wonder; why dont he tell me hes own news first,
and then politely ask - "tell me yours, now i have told you mine"
well
maybe i should pay less attention to words.
and listen more to where and when they are put.
but its not easy
and i feel hurt when people open conversation with "how are you doing"
i know its the most common thing to do
but
it will take my focus away, and the automate reply "im fine" always make me enter the conversation feeling like i just made a big lie.
its not that im not fine.
i its just that i dont like the outlook from that demanding/ optionless point.
:-:--)
words dont come easy
and i always put myself next to the aisle on transportation so i dont get stuck in conversation i dont like.
i thought it was claustrophobia, but it is rather fear and dislike of people and words.
so
if we meet
and you want to play it safe:
you could talk to me about my plants, my colours maybe even politics and words
but please try not to open by saying "how are you doing" / "whats up" or stuff like that
and dont put me in a corner and use yourself as a cork to the room.
then i will be the best company you ever had. promise
in fact
i think this little guide can be used with most people.
love love love
stine
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sunday: januar 3rd 2010
:-:--)
first sun-day of second decade
here in copenhagen it is freezing 5 below 0 in celcius
i spend the day walking a ring through town. some of the way maria jørgensen was kind enough to keep me fine compagny.
together we walked across the mirror-like black surface of new frozen ice;
"the peblinge lake" is now frozen in the space between inner and outer nørrebro.
water frozen is like time trapped to stop
people can move on top of the ice. this is miraculous
fine day spend inside light.
im home now. warm.
stine
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saturday: december 26th 2009
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wensday: december 23th 2009
:-:--)
in my complicated life i have
- simple pleasures these christmas days:
yesterday i saw that i have hit the bottom of my pile of LOVE posters.
there are no more. just a couple that i will to keep for exhibitions and so.
and
also no more "sort er min fjende" they are sold out to
keep them close to your heart if you have some. i dont think i will reprint in silk screen.
(i dont even have a "sort er min fjende" myself... there were 16. maybe it was best to get rid of them.
it was sort of personal.
BUT
though i wornt silk screen it again.
i might offsett a second edt.
dont know when though
when i get hungry :-:--)
yes
love
stine
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monday: december 14th 2009
almost done :-:--)
ive been stuck for a couple of weeks due to some trouble about imagequality on the pictures all over the page.
now i think i have solved the problem.
thats real good.
will be nicest nice to be done!
but i have to reupload all imagestuff
and rewrite all imagetags..
patience.
one week deadline.
most huggeble hug ever
stine
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wensday: december 9th 2009
hi hi hi
yes!
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monday: december 7th 2009
:-:--) 2 things:
begga from iceland just send me this link:
http://artrebels.com/fanzine_v01/issue/
im happy!
its the first GOA-fanzine anne and i made for artrebels, and i thought it was long lost and deleted from the artrebels server....
in a mysterious way it has survived
actually begga send me the link, because she wanted to ask me, if i knew the address to fanzine number 2...
but i dont. do you?
if someone do, - write me :-:--) thanks.
and
this weekend i received an invitation for a group show in chicago!
it opens on january 23th and fits super with the NY plan and my curiosity about the sillyest land of plenty.
hope everything comes together tight and possible on this one.
biggest smile, and biggest thank u to sandy !!!!
a super yes!
stine
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saturday: december 5th 2009
-i am back in copenhagen.
A
from skipping a night in the end of november i have now reached an almost superhuman sleep rhythm.
my days start 05 in the morning. sometimes it has been 06 but not later than 07
kitchen is now open 08 to 20 :-:--)
B
on the wall in my work room hangs a tiny singn that writs:
-
Makes sense
But is Not true
-
I dont know why. now i read it to myself every day.
C
it is christmas and a new year soon
for christmas i wish someone could give me a flying blanket.
i saw a music video that had one in it, so i know now that they do exist.
pastel yellow is the one i want
(but i will settle for less on this one if not avalieble)
bye bye bye and winter sun through thermo-window
stine
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thursday: november 27th 2009
the lonely winter guest
yesterday i almost took a ticket to paris for the weekend but then got awoken by my mom
today i finally bought the ticket to go see lina in NY from mid jan to mid feb
tomorrow i will go and spend the last freezing "weekend-in-tjærehuset-with-parrents" of the year.
tjærehuset means tar-house and offcourse says something about something.
so as a matter of fact none of us have ever been in the house in december i think.
this house has been lonely during winters for about a century.
almost:
a family story tells about a student of my grandfathers who sometimes lived in the house during winters: of why she did that ive never been sure, but it has been told to me from early childhood that her name was vibe and she was tough. i always imagined her to be tall, thin and rather pale and without many words or gestures because the story is, that her diet was only coffee and rugbrød (the sour danish ekvivalent to german pumpernickel)
she stayed in one room only. door closed for the heat to not to escape. she only came out to make coffee on the gas stove in the kitchen.
(the house has no electricity or modern heating)
poor vibe
hard to tell
for as long as i can remember vibe has been this greyish winter ghost concerning the winters of the summerhouse. (matter is that she is a real person and probably alive today still given that she expanded her diet a bit)
but. now i set my mind on staying with the house at least untill tuesday where winter starts according to calender; to see if we could get lucky and have an early december snowfall that would keep us caught there untill christmas.
and maybe meet this ghost and ask her why and how :-:--)
untill then
woolen regards from suitcase
two waving hands over head and xxx
and a - i hope that we meet soon again, to someone that i think a lot about.
stine
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saturday: november 21th 2009
xxx
stine
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thursday: november 19th 2009
skip this. dont read this. its all sour
now i know why it took me so many years to do this homepage
:
it is simply the worst:
doing it is the worst
the worst thing i have done since highschool
and now i am 11 years old and stop to function when forced into things
and i no more have parents in the house, to help me see the value of daily rutines.
so
i dont want to make a list, just tell that this has kicked me hard, and that my sleep and eat rhythm has gone past, where it has ever been before. and that someone need please come, take me out of here around dec.1th because thats deadline. by then i will be all grey, not able to speek and appreciate someone to talk to.
this homepage could and should have been made two years ago, in one week straight; had it not been for this; my non-ability to do "forced into boring projects".
life is hard when you have studied to become a graphic designer, and the making of your own homepage is a "forced into boring project"
........
let me state that i like the content offcourse. i offcourse do not think the projects i normally do are boring in any way.
but these days i feel like im cleaning and organising cans on the shelves down the supermarked 16 hours a day.
it is practically an easy job, but not the least interesting or exciting and im to stupid, to understand the benefits. so it is not an easy job.
jezz
even this diary is procrastination to trick me into doing the rest.
and even a hug seens out of reach today
- goodnight
stine
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sunday: november 15th 2009
yeste-yesterday i started to do my pills again. half dose
yesterday i had fun
today i did no thing of importance or interest
tomorrow i will wake with no headache again
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
tuesday: november 10th 2009
yesterday i washed my thoughts in the rain.
today im inside wondering what is lost
tomorrow i still wornt comprehend: to loose what is not found
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monday: november 9th 2009
headaches vs. dream
i woke up today at noon after a night of dreams. dreams epic like movies. long epic movies.
tonight there was 5 different ones. new one for each time another one woke me up.
it has been like this since i stopped eating the pills.
(those pills were topimax and atacand that im supposed to eat, because i get migraines every day else way)
topimax: some stuff that is prescripted for epileptic people
atacand: given to people that suffers high blod pressure
i dont have epilepsy nor high blod pressure
but these pills are known to have some effect on chronic migraines, though they are not made for that purpose. both are strong stuff.
so
since i stopped the pills i have these series of dreams
- but also an almost constant headace
and i cant run. at all. - if i do, i get a migraine as soon as my bloodpreassure goes up
my mum and dad tells me im easier to conversate. as if something has gone back to normal.
im not so sure what to make out of this
but i stopped eating the pills, because my ability to memorice things has gotten increasingly worse over the 4 years spend on them.
its a known side effect from this cure. loosing your memory.
but i found it easy to give a bit of my awareness, when the return was days that became night, with no migraines to them.
maybe its all the things i have forgotten during the past 4 years, that are now visiting me in my dreams.
a stock of lost information rendering.
it is good to have these dreams because they carry content, but i now spend 10 hours every night sleeping, because i get physically tired from the dreams.
im not sure what to do
so my intention is to wait a bit more
just a bit to see if changes come to the daily headaches
and if the dreams slow down a bit
but suggestions are welcome in my inbox. they must contain no pineapple cures though. (i like pineapple but they do not affect migraine)
biggest hug and some leftover dreams
xxx
stine
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monday: november 2nd 2009
brown food / brown paper / brown season
in the past days ive been struggeling about building this homepage. i dont enjoy it much. it has got same feeling as tidying laundry when out of the washing machine. folding it. putting it in the right shelve.
i dont have to write that i would not do the above with my own clothes. they are more in a pile-sort-of-style order.
but here is no choise:
lots of procrastination
no wonder
so these days go slow. fact.
outside is rain and a wind so strong, that the trees on the dock side take shape.
then i take the opportunity to eat more cake than usually, and stay inside all day. i can see in my crystal ball that the sad truth is; i will be all pale and fat by the end of the month.
but i couldent care less, -because by then i will have a happy home away from home. right here. this address!
well
so untill then; if anyone feels like comming by islandsbrygge and eat some cake with me, im here behind the screen; kitchen open 13 to 03 and offers lots of interesting stuff :-:--)
i hope to see you around
BIG HUG
stine
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monday: november 2nd 2009
yesterday i ate cake
today im eating some more cake
tomorrow i will eat a bit more cake
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monday: october 26th 2009
yesterday i stopped eating pills from the blue/yellow egg
today im tired
tomorrow or tomorrowtomorrow i will start
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i have kidnapped my old diary/blog from myspace :-:--)
now it is here:
myspace diary/blog 2009
myspace diary/blog 2008
myspace diary/blog 2007
myspace diary/blog 2006